Nowadays, there is a growing tendency to place purity in a box and to define it solely as abstinence from a sexual act. This perception suggests that once an individual has indulged in a sexual act, whether by choice or by force, they are disqualified in regards to purity. In the same breath, this view claims that an individual is justified in regards to purity if they simply abstain from any sexual act. BUT, more important than the desire to be sexually or physically pure, is the hunger and thirst to be spiritually transformed and cleansed. Without a spiritually altering encounter with God, the effort to live purely becomes a useless toil. But once that encounter occurs, the spiritual transformation gives birth to countless changes; in thought, in emotion, in perception, and in action, thus creating a culture of purity; “but seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33).
Years ago, my number one concern regarding sexual purity was the question of how much I(David) could do and still be considered pure. Was all sexual activity off the table? Can I still be pure if I do some things and just avoid sexual intercourse? To my disappointment, my dream for finding a loophole in the purity system proved unsuccessful when God dropped this ball on me; “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”- Matthew 5:28.
The bar has been risen, the standard has been heightened, and God’s expectation has increased. Holiness is much more than our actions. It encompasses our secret thoughts, our heart’s desires, and our hidden motives. Abstaining from sex is wonderful, please don’t get me wrong, but it does not make us pure. For purity, an open-heart surgery is required and God is the only qualified doctor for the procedure; “create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10). There is no need to check if your Obama Care was approved because the blood that was shed over 2,000 years ago still covers us. But just like any procedure, the operation cannot begin until we've given consent.
The bar has been risen, the standard has been heightened, and God’s expectation has increased. Holiness is much more than our actions. It encompasses our secret thoughts, our heart’s desires, and our hidden motives. Abstaining from sex is wonderful, please don’t get me wrong, but it does not make us pure. For purity, an open-heart surgery is required and God is the only qualified doctor for the procedure; “create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10). There is no need to check if your Obama Care was approved because the blood that was shed over 2,000 years ago still covers us. But just like any procedure, the operation cannot begin until we've given consent.
In Micah Stampley’s Take My Life, he sings “Holiness, holiness, is what I long for. Holiness, is what I need. Holiness, holiness, is what you want for me.” Notice the three components of this portion of the verse. We must desire holiness, we need holiness, and God wants holiness for us. How wonderful! God desires to shower us with holiness, for our own benefit. Years ago, I used to live out the lyrics, “holiness, is what You want from me”. In an attempt to offer God purity, I’d abstain from pornography, masturbation, hook-ups, and sex for a period of time. The longer I’d abstain, the prouder I’d be of myself, entering church with my chin high, convinced that I was in good standing with God. But whenever I’d fall, I’d sink into a pit of absolute shame and guilt, afraid and embarrassed that I had failed Him.
The cycle continued for years, until God opened my eyes . He doesn't desire holiness from us but FOR us because we are incapable of producing and/or obtaining it. He wants us to desire purity, to admit that we cannot achieve it on our own, to recognize our need for it, to allow him to transform our hearts, and to accept purity as His gift to us . At this point, we are able to use the strength that He provides to wage war against any temptations or attacks of the enemy, as He tries to prevent us from living out our new culture in Christ. This is done by remaining in prayer, STUDYING THE BIBLE AND SEEKING TRUE KNOWLEDGE, surrounding ourselves with like minded individuals, finding people who will hold us accountable, and avoiding triggers that will give rise to our fleshly desires.
The cycle continued for years, until God opened my eyes . He doesn't desire holiness from us but FOR us because we are incapable of producing and/or obtaining it. He wants us to desire purity, to admit that we cannot achieve it on our own, to recognize our need for it, to allow him to transform our hearts, and to accept purity as His gift to us . At this point, we are able to use the strength that He provides to wage war against any temptations or attacks of the enemy, as He tries to prevent us from living out our new culture in Christ. This is done by remaining in prayer, STUDYING THE BIBLE AND SEEKING TRUE KNOWLEDGE, surrounding ourselves with like minded individuals, finding people who will hold us accountable, and avoiding triggers that will give rise to our fleshly desires.
Purity isn’t early retirement, I hear so many people say “I’m still young, I’ll be holy later”. But as your Creator, the only things He wants to take away from you are the things that were never a part of you in the first place. Sometimes, circumstances and societal influences can attach habits and desires to you and make you believe that’s just how you are. The truth is those tendencies were never yours. During my high school years I(Emmanuella) struggled with purity, and because of this I always felt like a misfit.
I was always trying to figure out how I could be friends with everyone and still be a friend of God. In my mind, no one would like me if I was that “Christian girl”, and I was so lost within myself. Some months, I’d be like “okay God, I surrender all”, then months later, I’d be like “this is just how I am, I can’t stop”. The devil knew all of my triggers, and he was very serious about getting me because he knew how much trouble he’d be in once I began living radically for God. To be honest, sometimes I’d put myself in compromising situations, knowing the outcome wouldn’t be good because my definition of purity was way off. I had to desperately crave it and to learn how to scream, HELP! I thank God for this struggle because if this was easy, I wouldn't need Jesus.
~Purity is not a trophy to be earned, but a lifestyle to be learned~
Living a life of purity is a choice. He’s given all of us free will. God being God, He could’ve forced us to live for Him but He didn’t because He loves us way too much. He wants us to serve Him out of love not out of obligation and fear. You wouldn’t want someone to love you or to remain faithful to you because they’re scared of you, but because they love you.
Everyday is a day to learn and to grow and to be better. Chances are, we will all fall short at some point in some area. We might find ourselves engulfed in a moment of passion that leads to premarital sex, or we might gaze a little too long at someone walking by. Regardless of where or how much we might falter, we must remember that just as we couldn't obtain purity on our own, we cannot disqualify ourselves, as long as we continue to desire it, or better still, desire God ; “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” -2 Peter 3:9.
I was always trying to figure out how I could be friends with everyone and still be a friend of God. In my mind, no one would like me if I was that “Christian girl”, and I was so lost within myself. Some months, I’d be like “okay God, I surrender all”, then months later, I’d be like “this is just how I am, I can’t stop”. The devil knew all of my triggers, and he was very serious about getting me because he knew how much trouble he’d be in once I began living radically for God. To be honest, sometimes I’d put myself in compromising situations, knowing the outcome wouldn’t be good because my definition of purity was way off. I had to desperately crave it and to learn how to scream, HELP! I thank God for this struggle because if this was easy, I wouldn't need Jesus.
~Purity is not a trophy to be earned, but a lifestyle to be learned~
Living a life of purity is a choice. He’s given all of us free will. God being God, He could’ve forced us to live for Him but He didn’t because He loves us way too much. He wants us to serve Him out of love not out of obligation and fear. You wouldn’t want someone to love you or to remain faithful to you because they’re scared of you, but because they love you.
Everyday is a day to learn and to grow and to be better. Chances are, we will all fall short at some point in some area. We might find ourselves engulfed in a moment of passion that leads to premarital sex, or we might gaze a little too long at someone walking by. Regardless of where or how much we might falter, we must remember that just as we couldn't obtain purity on our own, we cannot disqualify ourselves, as long as we continue to desire it, or better still, desire God ; “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” -2 Peter 3:9.
May God continue to strengthen you as a you fight the good fight.
Grace and Love,
David & Ella
Grace and Love,
David & Ella